Puzzle?

Shakespeare once said that:” indeed the world is a stage and we are nearly players, performers and portrayers. Each another’s audience, behind the gilded cage….”


I’ve lived my life as if it were a movie, where I am, of course, the main character.
I go through the different film sets every day, and the extras and other characters come in and out of the scenes as necessary for the plot to be narrated.

Sometimes it is very apparent that there is a very clear plot. At these times the film director excels and the scenes become small masterpieces. Then, all us characters march into the scenes and deliver our words and physical movements as if impeccably choreographed by our director….Cut!!!!!

Every now and then the plot is not so obvious. That seems to be when the direction also fails, the lights are not right, the timing is off. Sometimes it seems as if some characters were just there to sabotage the film, to derail the narrative, to set things back, to stop the production, to enrage you, to piss you off.

And like a film the images pass one after the other. Every action, every feeling, every close up fades into the next, and the next, and so on. And so the movie plot moves on. There is no rewinding possible in this film. Once you film one scene, you move to the next. One can only film. This is the implacable reality.

I film every day. But delivering somebody else’s lines, and acting in someone else’s vision, I often get tired and disillusioned. I then get the urge to write my own material, to direct my own vision.

I often wonder if there is even a projector that will play this film at one point of existence or another. Will I ever be able to see this film? I even wonder if there will ever be an audience that would laugh, cry, be bored or entertained with my movie. Is there any cosmic popcorn that will be served in this cosmic movie house?? Are the cameras really loaded???

But, are we really acting in this film? At times I get the feeling that we are just puppets, marionettes connected to the above by a series of strings that hang invisibly over us in the stage of life. But these marionettes are not being controlled from a magic hand above; on the contrary, they are controlling the movements of everything above, like pushing and pulling by the strings, the hand that was previously controlling them, as if each one of their movements, thoughts and actions constantly reshapes through the strings the form of that controlling hand. What ever happened to the puppeteer?

Some other times I feel as if I am the only character in the movie that is real. And if I am the only real character, what are the others….virtual characters, holograms perhaps?? If I am the only real character in this movie, are there many other movies?? Are your life and his life movies as well?? And if so, am I a virtual character in your film or his…??? Is there a collection of films which form the scenes of a major, MAJOR FILM?? Then, is the film nothing but a puzzle? And is each of our films a piece of the puzzle?? Are we here really because we need to resolve our own film-puzzle??

Will our film end the moment we solve our own puzzle, or will we move on onto other films until we solve our own major puzzle???

ACD
2-6-08
(In progress)