THE POET”S DEN (Idea in progress)

The Day Clauducci...

It did not appear to be a sure thing, because of the wavering intensity of the contractions, he was not sure whether or not it would happen right then. He was told to go and take a shower if he needed to because it was most certainly not happening. His enthusiasm fell noticeably, and after stepping in the shower, he got himself ready and left for work. As usual, he got his dark coffee-one sugar from Dean and Deluca and got to the 5th floor of Puck Building in SOHO and started his work day. The call came 15 minutes later to get back home, because the contractions had restarted, and as he waited for the Metroline he had called, he informed his superiors that he was going to be out. Excitedly, he rushed home with the car service and picked up, his wife, who had already prepared her neatly packed belongings for a few days-stay out and they departed from Brooklyn onto the Upper East Side for what was going to be one of the greatest moments of his life, the birth of his second child, something long-awaited, which as he knew very well, was going to be one of the happiest moments of his life. As they were making their way uptown, the car negotiated the dwindling traffic of a beautiful spring mid-Wednesday morning and it finally made it to the front of the Guggenheim pavilion of the Mount Sinai Hospital and walk internally to the Kingenstein pavilion towards one of the newer a birthing rooms. This was a completely new experience, from the one he had had 4 years earlier, and he was expecting to go to the O.R., and get into the fatigues, but no, this time, he was going to go through this on his own work clothes, with a black pair of slacks and a white shirt. He looked into his wife’s eyes, and they smiled at each other. Everything had such a new feeling. A new life was going to be born at any moment now. They were both also a bit concerned, as any parent to be would always be in moments such as this, hoping that everything would go well, as it almost always does. Nature has perfected the process, like in a symphony, a flawless chain of events that follow one another till the perfect final moment when the final note is played and then, silence!!!………………………………………The cry of the born baby is heard for the first time announcing her place and claiming her space in this life. Then, the mom and dad hug each other. He is called to detach the baby from her cocoon by cutting the chord that symbolizes her material existence as an individual and then goes back to the mom while the newborn is being washed, weighted and wrapped into a worm bundle of joy. The baby is then given to the mom who had carried her for 9 months, and they both rekindle the warmth and connection that had been shared from the BEGINNINGS OF TIME to the END OF TIMES….. The father experiences the greatest emotion that can be felt as he sees his wife and child in an embrace having a communication that will last through time. The father is then given the baby to hold. He is afraid of exerting too much pressure on her, of hurting her, but no, he doesn’t. It seems as he was designed to hold her. He kisses her. He walks her to the window and looks across Fifth Avenue and she tells her about Central Park, and points out to her the many children that are playing in the green grounds, the trees, the blue sky…. If they ever asked her, she would know that this was the first time she saw Central Park, although she what she really wanted to know at this moment was when she was going to get her next meal, even if she still did yet not know what that even meant. She was just happy breathing, feeling and being. She was happy, He was ecstatic, and the mom was jubilant. She had a glow so bright that she did not seem at all to have gone through 9 months of pregnancy, nor a few hours of child delivery. He looked at his white shirt, and saw a few red stains and said “Oh Blood….!!!!!” He laugh and said “……New Blood….. My own Blood……!!!!” All of the sudden he knew that everything was in order, everything under control, everything would be fine, everything was clear, now there was a new part of him, a million possibilities, a million miles of new road to walk, an million new reasons to walk them…!!!!! The Day Clauducci was born…..It was a sunny day, as it always is and always will be…!!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear lovely Claudia, Once again I had the same memories, the same thoughts, the same feelings I get every year when your birthday comes, except today I wrote them down. There is nothing new in essence, but everything is new at every moment. Every time is the first time, because we are constantly re-firing anew, every one of our cells does. It is their purpose, to make it all new, again and again, and they will always do as long as we want them to. As I was saying, there is nothing new in my love for you, except that is a new love every day, every moment, except intensified exponentially, a love that is unconditional. I first knew this when I saw those small red stains in my white shirt. The years pass, faster than I would like them to, but nonetheless, some things are for sure, for instance, every day is a new day, a new opportunity for life to be, sky is the limit, or on the opposite side your thoughts can be. Many things could go wrong for no simple reason just that it is a mathematical possibility, nothing else. But math is one of our inventions. It is imperfect, it is arbitrary, it says that something is positive or negative because it says so. It needs the use of concepts like infinite, and zero, something of which we know nothing about and we cannot even fully fathom, because even zero implies lack of all things, including the consciousness that contains the math itself. Yes, anything could go pear shape at every moment, but they don’t usually, do they?? They don’t, because they are not meant for us. They don’t because it is not our destiny, our tikkun, because nothing that is not yours will stay with you…..Things go pretty much our way at least 99.99% of the time because we desire it to be so deep, deep down that is what we desire and what we attract accordingly. Another sure thing is that life throws our way that which we need to deal with and the little tests that come hidden at every curve, but remember it is only a curve. You may not see exactly what is on the end of it because it may be perpendicular to you at this precise moment on the curve, but remember that at the end of the curve there is always more road, and when your own Clauducci comes to you, you will be given a chance to discover your own million reasons why you would want to walk them all……. That sunny 31st of May of 1995 was a very, very special day for your mom and me, and for our family then as it still is now. We love to have you be a part of our lives, a part of us. Today is your 23rd birthday and as in that first day, I am as excited as I am sure of how wonderful your life will be. You are just starting out baby and you have a lifetime to reach all your potential, as I am sure you will. Just keep trusting your inner strength (soul) and you will see how in the same way ease with which nature delivers a new baby, you will uncover and reveal your own greatness, your own wonderful life….!!! I just want to apologize for when I fall short in my helping you. It is not for lack of wanting. I hope you do know that I will always be there for you, but I know that you will realize everything you set up to do. Wishing you the best life can offer is an understatement. Wishing you a happy birthday and a wonderful year is an honor and a privilege. Love Dad….. 5.31.2018 As usual I will like to add some photos that I am able to find for color and illustrational purposes, plus a feelings/memories that can be triggered from the images, The Sweetest Child

Jesus of Varick Street

Jesus of Varick Street -"Hello", said Jesus as I was walking down that rather narrow sidewalk. I turned around and I stared at him. He looked much, but much differently than the skinny medieval image I had impregnated in my mind from my early years. He also looked very differently than the Michelangelesque muscular, all powerful Jesus, pushing undesirable people to the side, and selecting with his strong grip the arms of the deserving ones. No, this Jesus looked different. His long hair was black and thick, but too thick, like if he hadn't washed it since the day of the crucifixion. Jesus looked into my eyes. And smile. I knew it was him. We talked about the weather. He predicted it would rain. I made a mental note to buy a cheap umbrella at the Chinese street vendors at the Spring Street subway station. He asked me if I had a couple of bucks. He said he was a little hungry. I gave him 10 bucks. What the hell!! He was Jesus after all. We walked a little more on the crowded sidewalk, under one of those perpetual scaffolds on the Varick Street buildings, where there was one of those born again street preachers, who looked almost deranged. The preacher seemed angry. He seemed tired of not being listened to. This respectable looking man had the appearance of a clean cut dictator. Screaming and holding next to his white shirt an old black cover bible in his hand held in place by a red rubber band he saw us coming and he directed his attention particularly to Jesus. He seemed to be even angrier by the site of him. The preacher’s face changed color as he gesticulated even more aggressively than before. Most pedestrians walked around repelled by him trying to avoid him and his uncomfortable demeanor. Jesus looked at him and smiled and said: “What do you say man…. I love you teacher??” He must have known him well. The preacher looked at him and as he was quoting something from “JOHN” He pointed at him and he said: ” and you …. you Loafer….. You Sponge of society…You bring perdition to yourself….You useless frolic …How can you know what love is? See here this man. He is the product of our greed. This is what happens to us individuals when we lead a life without God, without the Lord. …You need to be born again!!!!…. You need to be a righteous man!!!!….There is no heaven without Jesus…!!! You have to be born again as the Bible says..!!!! You need Jesus….!!! I felt sad for Jesus. I think He felt sad himself. I asked him “ Why are you sad?… Don’t you feel hurt??” He said ”Yes, I am sad, but I am sad for him” We parted ways, and I went to work. He walked away along the sidewalk. I turned around and looked at his walk. His pants were 2 sizes too big for him and they were really dirty. He turned the corner and disappeared. I saw him many other times as well sitting on the sidewalk in front of a magazine shop on Varick Street, sometimes talking to some invisible angel, and laughing or shaking his head. He does not remember me. Why should he? He has so many others to care or worry for! I used to feel sad for him, but I am not sad any more. Well, at least NOT for him anyways…I am sad for the rest of us…. ACD 8-27/08

Huimos por el cosmos

Huimos por el cosmos para encontrar lo que solo podemos encontrar dentro de nosotros mismos....!! El cosmo es solo espacio y tiempo...nuestras penas nos persiguen, nuestro desafio es encontrarnos, pero el viaje es interno, no externo.....La aparente ventana es solo un espejo my dear friends...!!! o Osvaldo Enrique Islas asi estamos... huyendo por el cosmos de nosotros mismos, queriendo saber lo que no queremos saber... y el abismo, que tampoco comprende, nos busca en cada momento para exclamarnos su secreto: infinita es la ausencia y eterna, la soledad... 12 hours ago · Comment ·LikeUnlike   Pedro De Girolamo likes this.   Pedro De Girolamo El reto es querer empezar a saber, aunque duela... (¿a qué parte de uno mismo le duele?) Nuestra Esencia está preparada para recibir todo, ... 9.21.10 Idea in progress

TIEMPOS, ESTOS TIEMPOS

TIEMPOS, ESTOS TIEMPOS Como siempre empiezo con una apology….y porque no, si es un poco como mi “signature”…..!! Pero es así y así es , así son estos tiempos…..Tiempos veloces, locos estos tiempos locos; tiempos de cambio, tiempos de transiciones, de temores, de realizaciones; Tiempos de crecimiento, de vagancia, de peso existencial, in-existencial, de curiosidades espirituales, de asombro, de paura, de alejamientos involuntario, de resignación, de esperanza, de ansiedad, de nostalgias escondidas, envueltas en un papel de golosinas. Si, son tiempos de trabajo aburrido, de deadlines y de esperas sin nada que hacer. Son tiempos de finger estar ocupado y de no tener tiempo para nada pues estas hasta la manija con laburo. Son tiempos de invernar como el oso, tiempos en el que tu jefe pasa caminando y de reojo ve lo que estas hacienda o no…, tiempos en los que siempre piensan que te están hacienda un favor. Son tiempos de ambivalencia singular y colectiva, de pánicos a venir, de profetas y pronostiacadores baratos de doom dates, tiempos de gente vieja que resucita para enviarte un chiste Viejo, o contarte de sus crisis, o de Cólera en tiempos de amor…..!! Que tiempos estos tiempos….!!! Y que es de tu tiempo??? ACD 03-03-11

El LADRON

El LADRON Me acerque a ese lugar. Jugué con la idea de entrar, pero no pude. Me sentí como un “outlaw” buscado por la justicia. Como si pudiera ser posible que una persona que vive en un lugar Pueda tener jurisdicción por sobre toda una zona, o todo un barrio!! Pase en auto, protegido por su interior. Mire al edificio, su balcón, a las ventanas. No se movía un alma, Solo las plantas que sin dudas eran bien mantenidas por la mucama “Celestina”. Baje la mirada y la posé sobre la calle misma. El sol de verano presionaba con su tortura de las 3 de la tarde. Algunas almas paseaban por la vereda del edificio. Un colectivo verde y rojo, de techo negro pasaba aullando y Despidiendo una humarada cruda diesel desde su motor 11-14. Cough, cough, cough…..Ya esta es una señal. Debo irme ya. Me voy, me fui. Adiós sueño mío….. ACD 1-7-96

Thanks Maria, Nick, Lina for suggesting this

Thanks Maria, Nick, Lina for suggesting this, and I am glad that this gives me the opportunity to do this, it allows me to look inside myself and try to share my thoughts. I would like to Start this first gathering with a little relaxation and thougt, and then do a little lecture, I guess for lock of a better word, and I would like to read this little presentation that I prepared these last couple of days, and then after we can all respond to it, share questions, if any, or express opinions. As I was preparing this, I asked the Light of the Creator to give me clarify for my thoughts and my words and I hope I can untie my tongue and be able to give a message from my soul rather than my mind. They say we are all channels of the Light of God, that we all manifest the wisdom of the world to each other, so I hope I can channel some of that light here tonight, and I hope that I can get your light as well. So, Close your eyes and take a very deep breath. Feel yourself present in the moment. Remember where you are. Try to imagine every detail of your surroundings with your eyes closed. Think of yourself, of how you feel right now. Are you tired, a bit sluggish? Do you feel perfectly find? Get an idea of how you feel right now. Now try to look inwards a bit more. Ask yourself: “Who am I? I am so and so’ son/daughter/ I am this and that. Do we get the answers…?? It’s difficult right? Take another deep breath and think from 0 to 10 at the present stage of your life, how happy are you ? Don’t have to answer at loud, just think about it and try to get an idea of where you are. Well, if you feel you are perfectly fine, contempt, happy and fulfilled with life, that is really great, and I am very happy for you. If not, if you think that there are areas of your life where you experience anxiety, a sense of void, emptiness, you feel that you are not quite happy, but you don’t know why, if you are often reactive and you experience anger and short temper and constantly snap, if you feel misunderstood, and you feel that you have everything you need to be happy and yet there are long moments when you are not, if you feel sad, overwhelmed, if you feel constantly tired, if you look for refuge in religion and the answers don’t come, or they just come for a little while, and then it all goes away again, when you think sometimes that God does not answer, or the line is busy, then YOU ARE NOT ALONE. We all face these challenges (who more, who less). So, ask yourself again, in a scale from 0 to 10, how happy are you. YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES NOW. DESIRE So what would we need to be happy…more money? It would be nice. What would make us happy…a vacation, a better job with more money and more vacations?? A better car, a weekend house, a beach house?? Think of what would make you really, really happy, more sex, better sex, to lose weight so that you can get better clothes, a better job, and then go out and have more sex, better sex…!!?? Yes, these things would make you happy or happier no doubt, but would they finally fulfill you? . And if so, for how long??!! I remember a Seinfeld episode when George Costanza was having sex with this woman and he thought it was really amazing. Then he would feel hungry as he was having sex, so he would smuggle a sandwich under the sheets as he was having sex and eating at the same time trying not to get caught. This went on until that wasn’t enough, he needed TV as well so he introduced a small portable TV as well, the perfect set up he thought. Well, he finally got caught eating the sandwich and watching TV as he was having sex and the girl got upset and left and he lost the perfect setup. It seems that if there is a word to describe us, it would be desire. We are a collections of desires, in fact some sages think that desire is our true essence, they think that we wouldn’t move a muscle if it was not done in order to satisfy a desire of some sort. We want things, and we want to experience feelings s and these things and feelings we crave, are the desires which define who we are. In general desires can be categorized in three major categories. Animal Lust: The most basic, which we carry in our natural instincts which includes food, shelter and sex. The second is not part of the animal kingdom, and it includes the need for honor, power, prestige, recognition, control over others. And the third is RATIONAL FULFILLMENT, which includes knowledge, wisdom, religious needs, love, peace, etc. We can say that we are all made up of a mixture in different measures of all these desires and these give us our individual identities. The essence of our desires is something I will call a VESSEL, a container for the desires that burn inside of us, and DESIRE is not just material, because we can be full after a magnificent steak, but no ,matter how full we are, we can always make some room for a small piece of a delicious dessert , and although there may be a limit to our appetite, there is no limit to our desire. We live in auto pilot driven by a constant desire to nourish all the longings that lingers in our hearts. UNINTERRUPTED HAPPINESS. So What is THE OBJECT OF OUR DESIRE?? A worker may desire better working conditions and pay and a deserved vacation, A scientist may want knowledge, but maybe he is driven by the need to achieve prestige between his colleagues. A comic may want acceptance and a good laughter to his punch line. But when you ask people to really take a look at what they really want from life, the answers are undoubtedly more spiritual than physical. The most common are: • Personal fulfillment • Peace of mind • Relief from Anxiety • Financial Security • Contentment • Love • Freedom • Control • Wisdom • Health • Happiness. If deep down we know that most of these desires are rarely achieved in the physical world, then what is that we really desire ultimately?? The answer is the God itself. But since God means different things to everyone, perhaps we should speak of just the all-giving aspect of this Divine Energy, we call God. I will refer to the sum of all of the fulfillment as the Light. It is said that geniuses like Mozart, Einstein, and inventors like Mendeleev and the periodical table, Singer, sewing Machine, Insulin, etc, etc, have all conceived these creations in a moment of a dream or a special connection beyond the realm of the normal physical boundaries, when our mind is so sharply in tune with the Light. So if what we really seek deep down is Light, why do we mostly chase physical possessions or (Immediate gratifications) in our pursuit of happiness? Through our faith we are told that that there is an all giving God, who is constantly looking upon us and is there, willing to give what we want 24/7, 365 days a year for the rest of our lives… So if we ask ourselves why is it that if we are fully made up of desires and if there exists a ready and willing GOD who wants to give us everything we want at any moment, why is it that we are not fulfilled. Why are we not getting it? Why is it that when we do get it, it never seem to last? ROOTH OF UNHAPPINESS. So think about it. What is the root of our unhappiness? Fear to lose what we have It seems we all have a lingering deep seeded fear that it will end at any minute, or eventually. (We say it’s too good to be truth!!) We always worry about how long would it be? This syndrome is called the fear to lose what we have. For Instance, in the midst of the vacation we start thinking about having to go back to work and we get depressed. Why ? We meet someone new and we like him/her and then we ask ourselves when is he/she going to disappoint us. Why is it that we are afraid to lose what we have instead of focusing on WHAT WE HAVE? Why is it that the good things we want don’t seem to last except when we are connected to the Light of the Creator? Think about it for a minute. If you walk out of here, and you go to the park, and you are sitting on a bench, and someone comes out and talks to you and clearly and without a doubt you realize that that person is Jesus, or the Virgin Mary, or Padre Pio, Buddah, or whoever form of deity you would think that would appear to you, and you would recognize and trust without any doubt, and He tells you “DON’T WORRY TONY, EVERYTHING WILL ALWAYS BE FINE FOR EVER!!” Would your level of worries change?? What about you constant need to satisfy your every craving?? We would probably let go of the need to accumulate money, or friends, or dates, or feelings. It would probably be a way more peaceful and layback existence, where we would be more caring about others and less worried about ourselves, with certainty that everything would be fine. But life does not seem to work like that. We don’t get a spiritual easy pass. We need to do the spiritual work in order to be truly fulfilled. So here we are in life getting small doses of occasional happiness and we are convinced we will lose it all at minute. The Curtain There seems to be a disconnect between the moments when we are happy and we feel we are on top of the world, and when we are simply down. It seems like someone just flipped a switch. Do we change? Are we different? I don’t think so. We are just as smart hard working individuals and we are as willing to be happy as we were before. So why is that we cannot be constantly happy? Some wisdoms describe this disconnects as a CURTAIN that is drawn over us which block us from the Light. Who puts this curtain in the way…is it God? Well not really, since the light of God continues shining over other people who are on top of the world at this moment, so what’s the story? Is it that there is just such little light to go around and we get the little we get, when we get it and that’s it???!! Well that doesn’t make much sense if we are to believe that there is an all powerful and giving God. What is the story then…is God not a good guy??!! Well can we think of God as being good or bad??!! God is perhaps not a big white hair muscular guy out there extending his finger to touch Adam, He may be more like pure divine positive energy, pure love, pure unconditional love and the will to share it. GOD IS, and period….Besides we could never be able to know in this lifetime the absolute magnitude of God. Thinking of energy, think of electricity and you do not think of it as being good or bad. If you know how to connect to it you see the goodness of it, the benefits it provides, the warmth, the coolness, the work it does for you, but if you do not know how to connect to it, well it could even be painful, you can even fry yourself in it!! So God is not out there to get us, or punish us. God is energy, like electricity. Yo would never say that electricity is not out there to get us. It is. So the reason we don’t get the benefits from the Light is simply because we disconnect from it, and even when we have it for a little bit we start to wish it away with our fear to lose it. Consciousness And we connect or disconnect from the light just because of a simple thing: “Consciousness”. How do we see consciousness? We are conscious of what is happening now, you see that you are here now , I am talking, you are listening and you are immerse in your thoughts. You see this reality judging with your eyes, ears, and the rest of the 5 senses. This is the process that you have developed for yourself throughout your life, that allows you to make decisions and to make choices constantly throughout your life. This is how we operate. Can you identify the voice of your thoughts? Yes of course, we hear constantly. There are usually two voices speaking to us. One is clear and loud. We hear it all the time. It is the voice of our mind. It’s the one that rules the airways of our brain. It’s the one that we respond to mostly. It is the one that reacts to our environment and to every circumstance. This voice is our guide; it represents us all day long. It says jump and we jump. At night this voice starts to quiet down a bit, when we stopped being bombarded by the noise of life with all the dramas and the problems and TV, cable, technology, etc. When our primary voice quiets down, then we could start hearing the other voice, the voice of our soul. This voice is our true essence. It is the voice of the infinite, like our soul itself. This is the voice which comes from beyond our physical understanding, beyond the reality of the 5 senses. This voice is reassuring, prophetic, it calms you down, it centers you and puts things in a different perspective from you other voice and it puts you in the right place to connect with the Light, because the soul is the Light, or a piece of it. We are constantly hearing the voice of our ego, such as every time we react to something. How often do you hear the voice of your soul? The voice of your soul knows what you need, what your body needs, what your life needs. We need to keep consciousness throughout the day as often as possible. It is hard work at the start, like the gym but then it becomes easier and eventually it will become second nature. We don’t believe any longer in miracles, but how great is it that we awaken every day?! What is the first thing that we think of?? Is it great!!!....Another day to enjoy life and the glory of being alive?? No…We say:”Shit, getting up again, going to work again…!!!! Making coffee again??!! Getting the kids ready again??!!! ….. We are tired every day. Even if you oversleep you wake up with some pain. You have little energy, Why?? We had dreams at night where our ego (subconscious)continues with the loud voice and the drama from the day. We eat something to get energy or reward ourselves and what do we do? We stuff our minds in a hurry to get it over with and get out.. Do we realize that what we put in our bodies is divine –Live- energy which we take to nourish us, to incorporate into us? No, we don’t. We eat because is a habit. We are like robots; reactive beings. We go to work. We maybe in a job that we really like, it’s perhaps something that we chose as our careers, and what do we do, do we give it our outmost? Not really, not always, we seem to be sucked into a black hole million miles away. Can we compare our energy level and constancy with that of our superiors, or to the new employees, to those who what they do seem to matter much more? Are we conscious of that? We go to sleep at night finally after a long day what do we do? We may stay up watching TV to get away from it all, to numb ourselves. We may fall asleep on the couch and drag ourselves up to bed already asleep. Do we try to hear the voice of our soul? No, we go to sleep thinking:”Wow, tomorrow I am gonna be so tired..!!!!” And how do you think we will wake up tomorrow??!!! We look for constant entertainment, for drama, we may get drunk or high to forget reality, to anesthetized ourselves, we do anything to not be conscious and then we ask ourselves, “why are we disconnected form the Light? God must definitely be a bad guy!!!!” So if we being to be more conscious of what we do at all times, we have more chances to take control over our reactive behavior and we start enjoying the light we get, no matter how little it may seem now. There is another type of perception we have where we also absorbe quietly the essense of what is going on on another level and this stays deep inside of us. This may be a feeling we get, or an intuition, which is not tangible at first glance and most of the times we just archive it in our body somewhere, either emotionally or physically or both. This quiet intelligence resides in us.... Reality “La Grand Illusion”…Jean Renoir So how else do we see consciousness??? We live life thinking of reality as it were not different than a movie, where we are the main character, the producer, the writer and the director, and when we look back and don't like a particular scene, we may are also the editor.... And everyone that comes into our lives is a secondary character that supports our plot. We write every aspect of our movie (reality). We are given a set of acting skills, and the free will to chose the path the movie will take. We have choices on the pace or tempo the movie will have the light or darkess the movie will have, as well as control over the humor, the action and the drama. We are in control of our movie. My movie is not your movie. You are a supporting actor in my movie, even if you may costar parts of it. In this movie every scene is potentially different. The perfect Tony or the bigest scumbag in me can be involved in my current scene. The perfect me and the biggest scumbag both exists in potential and at every moment. We create our reality. In essence, you can chose to be happy or sad, rich or poor because in our reality we affect also the material world and our perception of it. You don’t believe this? Look, a rich person may lose in the market 25 million out of his 35 millions and he feels like he is the poorest bastard, whereas a guy with a worth of 10,000 just maid 3,000 in the same stock market and feel he is the richest person on earth. So how real is our perception?? we define or reality, our movies. Also it has been determined in Quantum Physics that the aprticular behavior of an atom is influenced by the point of view of the observer, which means that even the material physical reality we take for granted is not as real as we have been led to believe. Some sages and deeply spiritual people think that this movie is not more than an ilussion. In some spiritual schools the physical reality is believed to be no more than the 1% of reality, “The 1% world, which can be seen, heard, touched, smelled, or spoken to. So what would the other 99%reality be? Something that exists beyond what we can perceive with our current brains, which use no more than 5% of its capacity. We make the biggest decisions and judgments of our lives involving our lives as well as the life of others. Ho arrogant can we be?! How egocentric we must be?? Think about it, are the views you hold today the same you held 10 years ago??!!! What about 20 years ago?? How can we then trust our current judgments? We need to see that there is a parallel energy or life force of some sort that runs with us, nourishes us and is the source we need to tap into and be connected to in order to fuel our minds bodies and souls, and consciousness is the first step to achieve it. Universal Laws Would Consciousness alone guarantee our uninterrupted happiness? No, but it is a first step. Consciousness would awaken you to your own spiritual path. You will be aware of your desires and you will understand your limitations, and the voids you have. But there are out there universal laws that govern us, that influence our life and our ability to reach our potential for happiness. We respond to these spiritual laws very much in the same way as we respond to physical laws, like gravity. I do not think it would be too helpful for the point I am trying to make to get into all of these laws But I want to touch on at least one or two of these laws: Cause & effect.(Karma) (Nothing Happens all of the sudden- You just don’t wake up one morning and find a huge oak tree in your back yard. Someone or something, I don’t know, maybe the wind, maybe someone else has to have planted a seed. The same thing occurs with the events in our lives. Every one of our actions has a consequence. If you push a physical being, it should move, you kick a ball it moves, you apply heat to water, it will get hot, you smack you face, it will hurt. In the Physical World we associate this to Newton’s Action-Reaction la, except that in the spiritual world this seems to work a bit differently. In the spiritual realm, TIME is the component that gets introduced in the process from the moment you do an action to the moment you get a consequence. This is called the Time Effect which is a necessary component to implement free will, or the freedom to make you own choices. I’ll explain: If we are NOT supposed to touch something AND WE DO, and after we do it, we immediately get smacked on our hand, and we repeat this a second, a third, and a fourth time with the same result, we start understanding the pattern. We will respond automatically by not doing it, not because we chose to, but because WE KNOW that we are going to get smacked. In the spiritual world TIME is there for you to forget that you have done an action and perhaps after we act selfishly, or we lie, or we do something wrong, we may even be rewarded by getting a raise, or winning a prize of some sort, so we do it again, and perhaps nothing happens, and when we do it again or again, then PUFF….The CURTAIN COMES DOWN and we get into an accident, or we get laid off, or get sick, or go through very rough times.. And we can never make the connection with WHEN the original seed of the oak tree was planted. And we go through life believing that Its a RANDOM and chaotic existence. No the reality is that the negative actions we do create a layer that will eventually disconnect us from the light and we do not realize it. The other law I want to talk about is known as the Butterfly Effect (Everything is interconnected) Sometimes we fail to realize that our actions have an unimaginable effect not only on our present and future reality, but also on the reality of the universe as a whole. I may come out of the L-Train and curse the hell out of the dispatcher on 8th Avenue, but this action not only makes me have a rotten morning, but it also creates a layer of negativity for myself (Cause and effect) but also this NEGATIVE ENERGY is unleashed into the universe. It hurts the intended recipient and it bounces out as negativity in the world, and when the level of this negativity reaches a critical mass, it unleashes something large and negative somewhere else in the world, an earthquake in Japan, a Cholera epidemic in Haiti, etc, etc. Are we really responsible for it?? Well YEAH…WE ARE…!!! The Curtains I will repeat it yet once more…. Every negative or selfish, egotistic action we do creates a new layer to the curtain that further blocks us from the light, and from the light that reaches humanity, because as we said, everything is interconnected. But is it bad to receive or put ourselves first??? Absolutely NOT. We are receivers….We want to receive. That is our nature. We were created that way, and since we were born receivers, we are reactive beans, we react to when we don’t get what we want or what we think we are entitled to, we get really pissed off, and reactive. (This is the voice of our mind….The loud one) But we were also created to God’s image, (Not an old man with a long beard and robes, but an endless and unconditionally-all giving force. Therefore, in some part of us we also have the deep seeded need to give, to share, just like God does. We need to be the cause of our own fulfillment, not just receive it from our father, from God. So if you think about it, this is the real reason that we can never be truly satisfied with only receiving, with TAKING, No matter how bigger and bigger our desires get, more money, more vacations, a hotter, younger wife/husband, a weekend house, etc, etc. We need to balance the receiving with the sharing in order to feel truly fulfilled. It is not just about being spiritual, not at all. You can be spiritually selfish and only look to satisfy your own spiritual desire. You could be a professional spiritualist that never does anything for others. This is really dangerous, because we then think that we are in touch with the world, but we are not. REMEMBER that this is a world of action and the sharing/giving has to be manifested physically. It’s OK to pray for others and that is great, but we need to get our hands dirty and share. Only by constantly giving we can continue to receive constantly. This is what maintains the Light circuit going, otherwise it stops for each of us and collectively as well. Open the curtains and enjoy the Light fully…!!! Cause & effect.(Karma) (Nothing Happens all of the sudden- You just don’t wake up one morning and find a huge oak tree in your back yard. Someone or something, I don’t know, maybe the wind, maybe someone else has to have planted a seed. The same thing occurs with the events in our lives. Every one of our actions has a consequence. If you push a physical being, it should move, you kick a ball it moves, you apply heat to water, it will get hot, you smack you face, it will hurt. In the Physical World we associate this to Newton’s Action-Reaction la, except that in the spiritual world this seems to work a bit differently. But if this is the case then why is it that when someone does a really bad action he or she does not get punished? Why is it that we probably do a great action and we get a bad consequence for it? It happens, we all know that. But we also know about karma; every bad action will get a proportionally similar consequence in term. Then why is it that when someone does a really bad action he or she does not get punished? Why is it that we probably do a great action and we get a bad consequence for it? It happens, we all know that. But we also know about karma; every bad action will get a proportionally similar consequence in term. Bread of Shame, Something that we have in ourselves, a sense that we don’t deserve what we get unless we truly work for it. Lottery winner examples. You sabotage your own happiness. The Oponent and the game of Life- A software we have installed at birth that helps us, and challenge us to remove the bread of shame. Makes it difficult to change, so that when we do get the fulfillment, we accept it without scorn. Masach vs. Tzinsum – Voluntary restriction for constant immediate gratification. (We do stop drinking or we will blow off our liver…Life will do it for you) Tikkun (Personal and Tikum Olam) Personal corrections we are here to do, for us and collectively for humanity. Butterfly Effect (Everything is interconnected) Door slamming-Monsoon in India Similars attract. Like attracts like. (The law of attraction)( The Secret) As above so below (Solomon’s Law). Same as cosmic actions influence life on earth, life on earth influences the cosmos….Black Holes…Negativity. Cosmic influences- Astrology- Numerology the block of creation. Cause & Consequence- The Game of Life Every one of our actions has a consequence. If you push a physical being, it should move, you kick a ball it moves, you apply heat to water, it will get hot, you smack you face, it will hurt. Then why is it that when someone does a really bad action he or she does not get punished? Why is it that we probably do a great action and we get a bad consequence for it? It happens, we all know that. But we also know about karma; every bad action will get a proportionally similar consequence in term. In order to describe this concept a bit better, we need to talk about the game of life. Creation: In the beginning there was the Creator and his intention to create the universe. Realize that the Light of God, is an ever-giving entity, whose only purpose is to give totally, fully, unconditionally. If you think of the sun and every other star radiating light throughout space in the universe, how does space appear? DARK, whenever there is a void, nothing the light cannot enter. What do you need to see the light besides the object that radiates it?? You need, and an object to reflect it like the moon, the planets. That is how you realize that the sunlight is radiating in space even though it seems that it is all darkness. That is why the Creator needed to create an object to receive the Light of God, otherwise there would be no light, there would be no reason for all the good things that he wanted to give un-endlessly. It needed to create the other pole for the circuitry of light. So God created something called the Vessel to receive the light. Then there was balance in creation, one entity giving unlimitedly and one entity receiving unlimitedly. This is what it’s called the endless world. The problem in this bi-polar model is that this energy circuitry, like electricity, needs a ground, or third pole. Soon enough the vessel started to feel bad about only receiving since it was made out of the same DNA as the Light, (Made to HIS image), he also wanted to share, to give, just like the light. It wanted to be the cause of his own fulfillment, and that bad feeling he called is referred to as “BREAD OF SHAME”. Big Bang This is the only thing that took place in Creation. God created ONE SOUL, the Vessel. Everything was included in the THOUGHT OF CREATION, In it there was you , me, the sun, the sky, LOVE, every drop of water, the planets, the stars, music, pasta e fagioli, everything physical and spiritual. When the vessel was unhappy and it could not tolerate the BREAD OF SHAME, it asked the light to STOP giving (Adam & Eve wanted to be like God if they eat from the tree of knowledge) . The light stopped. At that right moment, TIME was born. And in that tiny particle of darkness in the midst of an endless field of LIGHT, SPACE was born. When the vessel saw how dark life was without the Light, it panicked and asked the light to comeback. When the light came back, the vessel shuttered in countless pieces, which formed the planets, the stars, you and me, Love, every drop of water, pasta e fagioli, etc. (And Adam & Eve left the endless World and were sent out into this world, feeding from the tree of knowledge, instead of the tree of life). So what happened? We wanted to be like God, so that we can share as well. Why?? Because we know that we can never be happy just receiving. Like we mentioned before, we want a better, longer vacation, a better job with more money and more vacations, a better car, a weekend house, a beach house, a stronger drug, a younger hotter wife, a better everything. There is no true happiness only receiving. If we look into it you will see that we draw so much more fulfillment when we give unconditionally. Now what happens if the light is fully absorbed by the object? Well there is no light either, since it is all drained. All this an object to receive it Intention- But does consciousness alone guarantee our uninterrupted happiness? Of course not, we must understand some basic laws of the universe as well. The power of intention. When we want something we must make an effort t ACD 11.11.11

Another month

Another month is passing by, and I am on the unstoppable path to the end. Another eighteen minutes are left of my working day of the last day of July of 1990. I have very vague memories of this month; some good, some bad, but what is worst, it was just another month. I feel desperate, because I feel I am another month older in the unstoppable path to the end. Somehow, “this now (ONLY)” fifteen minutes left are a reality check for me. I look at myself and I feel conscious of my being. I am tired. I am nervous, a little sick perhaps, but I am this reality now. Time continues in its unstoppable path to the end, and the rest of you and I are going along with it. I wonder what happens to the time when it has passed?...Where does it go??... I see out rime going into our aging process, our grey hair, our wrinkles, but where does time passed, (spent , used, misused, abused) go?!!? And what about the time that just is?? Does it continue being??...Is there a warehouse, deposit-like place where someone or something piles up the hours minutes, days, etc…in there indefinitely??!!!...I wonder…. Time keeps passing by in its unstoppable path to the end. Which end? What end? End of what?? What is what?? It is unreal how we need to put (time) (X&Y) into a frame that starts and ends, to be able to measure it, since we ARE mortals, in this consciousness at least, with a beginning or origin, and a sure end, a worrisome end, and end, dark and frightful. The next four minutes are the fastest yet. I am running out of time. I race against myself to be able to make some sense of this…. this time matter, but like when raising with ourselves, It doesn’t matter who is the winner or the loser. It is only ONE, who starts and ends….this time…!!!!.....each time!!!????! ACD 7-31-90

“Welcome back my friends"

“Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, Here we are again with some paper and a pen” “Hello, Hello, Hello, the show’s about to go on.” No quiero distraerme. Apaguen todas las luces, las computadoras. Desconecten el teléfono…. Did anybody say Teleephhonnneeee!!!! Riiiiing….Riiiing, Riiiiing!!! Go Away!!! No, no hay nadie en casa, no se dan cuenta!!!?? Silencio, señores grandes…..La nieve cae en ráfagas de viento que veo por la pared de vidrio acá en 8th Avenue. El parque ya tiene un manto nuevo, blanco que cubre el del sábado pasado, el que ya se había empezado a ensuciar. La gente se apura, corre hacia sus cobijos. La guerra fue declarada por el clima de este invierno. La décima quinta nevada de esta temporada ya es realidad, y amenaza con ser el clímax de esta temporada. La sirena de tiempos de guerra se percibe desde los techos, que alertan a la población a correr a sus túneles y bóvedas domiciliarias. Hoy es solamente miércoles….y nada mas…. Y el miércoles 9 otra vez. 16, y seguimos contando…. ACD 3-2-94

ZILCHO-NADA

Here I am again, and I have nothing to say, nothing, zilch. I do not want to talk about all I have to do, my fatigue, my obligations. May the weight of my debts be lost in the midst of my dream-lit path. A smile comes to my mouth, like that of a naughty child who’s just eaten an ice cream cone (chocolate of course ... just to spoil his least preferred dinner!). It's time to start to wander: "Gods of my laziness, I evoke you to come and get me." "Welcome to the kingdom of my mental leisure !!!" "May God have mercy on those thoughts who still dare to create a productive thinking roam in my brain!" I'm willing just to rest my soul and get away from everything, to seek mental perfection zero, nothing, blank, empty, absent, did not come, missed,, had to accompany her grandmother to the doctor ... etc ... ... ZERO! The ZERO is perfect, and therefore beauty, purity. I am, at least at present, a zero (on the left, or right, but that ??!!.... to the right of zero is always zero!) The space does not exist in unioverso of ZERO ... nor the time of UNO. CEROes bravest number. UNO is less lonely, and though one sometimes feels something, often not just a poquilito greater than zero. It is almost impossible, I realize now come to stand for a considerable time at that level of perfection, which is zero because there is always some one that refuses to be subjugar. Many will wonder "where is and where it comes from this to this, but I begin by saying that" here I am and I have nothing to say "... I get lost in the infinity of the insignificant, I stop and am able to capture the small realities that die without being perceived because of their quality of ZERO. For example, some herbs that grow in the expansion joints of a cordon on a bustling Maspeth, or posts that place to support a new tree that can grow properly (correct !!??.. . say erect), nice and straight because of these clubs guides. Finally, when everything goes, he shall be a single tree, but ironically, even this die cut through the mountains of the time, or (HOMR-god). And those who remember the poor where the ants walking poles, where dogs urinate, marking his territory? On Saturday night it rained, and who remembers?! It is ZERO ... The Clouds gathered out of nowhere a few minutes, lightning and thunder, two elements of the same entity, estrepitante announced the arrival of a different time, the time of new and violent storm of the Revolution that air to change the status quo of the wet day, hot and sticky. I ran into my environment independently controlled, no music, just luggage. It was a light over the city. It was a splendid ZERO, a being almost nonexistent in the world of UNO. Heaven hasten the arrival of the night. The air had that inexplicably beautiful smell before rain. The stage was set for the show from the rain, and the storm turned into night, or in what appeared to be a series of light and dark, in a discreet rate proportional to the speed of my bubble. Thank Gods for letting laziness sweet savor the pleasure of these moments of existential emptiness. Thanks for power generator disconnected from my creditors moral!! It was beautiful to be able to feel only a pair of eyes in the night that attenuates the rain to the trace of memory. The rain, transformed into the universe had changed CERO UNO immediately. So the heat was momentarily different. The silence was different, was not mute, but mumbles shyly. The last hours of the night were mixed in a dream, dawn and new life, another day. From nothing (ZERO), came ONE, A new day. In the past, only I Recuero, (for now, until it also becomes ZERO) representing me. Who needs conclusions?? Probably one (not !!!!) ZERO (8-14-90) Zero seems to be what it contains all the essence of everything, where all become infinite, although identifying the mathematics of infinite value to us, the finite, the ZERO is the closest thing to temporarily possess infinite. Zero, we get the feeling of being part of the very essence of being, for white, or in absence, we can see the immensity of belonging to the infinitesimally small, insignificant. "All" comes from "nothing", for example us, morning and pass, etc .... Until the end comes out of nowhere, and goes to nowhere ... ..!!! Everything else is imagination ... .. The ONE constant weapon, fighting passionately at all levels to transcend conscious and subconscious (but beyond that ?.... envelope and that ??!!!). ???!!.... Let's try to analyze the need to invent or create the word transcend ... Of those who transcend through history, I think only those who did not try, they did indeed, but one deals with all forces. One death struggle through life and tries desperately to rid this horrible NOTHING that we soaked in our "SOUL". A NADA which come by chance, by chance, or goodness or necessity "and almighty God," or simply because the rule is that ZERO, ONE must descend and ascend again to zero or one, or something else , .... or not! NOTHING that haunts us in our time of UNO. NOT ONE can relate. We fear because we can not identify this ZERO ... (not while we can not be pure in that condition more than a few seconds consciously !!!!) a boy and we are concerned to know when we will no longer exist, to be oneself. We come to haunt the uncertainty of our existence, so we are intrigued to know where we came from, who was my grandfather? His father .... His grandfather ... etc!? It seemed to me? That Vivian life? I like this fall into? I have an obligation to know? Because I do not remember anything else? Who would remember me? They will know who I am? Who went? I wanted? That feeling? He feared that he loved ???...?? Who was this ONE and because now it's just a scratch ... ACD 6-15-90

Morningside Walk.

It is incredible how some places that meant something once, now Return faithfully to re-birth new experiences and new feelings. So today a new walk arm and adolescents who are lost in the place that becomes familiar but fabulous. She lets him know something of her lives, her visions, their fears of her wishes. He absorbes and embraces every word. Nobody else exists there at this time. Perfection takes advantage of this time to prove its existence, to demonstrate that humans are wrong not to dedicate themselves to look for it with passion. She looks at hims and she quiets. He looks at her and understands. Everything is so normal. It seems as if they had played that game for so long, but no. Everything had a carácter that was very fresh, very new, so full of surprises. The scent of her skin is that of a little girl’s. The softness of her hair, recently cut is simply incredible, he thinks, while his fingers run through the golden silk. Their eyes sought and they find themselves in the thin guise of a smile by curiosity to guess a little more than another. But no, “Please do not let me see more of what my eyes can now see. ….I do not want to know more about what is essential to maintain this time.”, They were perhaps be saying to themselves while lost in each other’s arms ….in the reciprocal and comfortable heat generated by the proximity of each other. As the clock continued its indifferent march, the time could at moments stop for a little while. She was glad, and this made him very happy. At the time their hands touched, a new language, clumsy and almost rustic, a new way to communicate that gave a new dimension to her expression. Now their arms promised a continuation, and their bodies touched, almost unified saying “I like you. This is Ok ….You make me feel well. I hope I do you well.” I will never understand the instinct that wraps you in flames from one second to another, when you feel like every one of your cells transmit to the other the ancestral need to love, to devour the body next to yours, which becomes a continuation of yours in just a few seconds, when you see the barriers fall and you see them consume t in your own flames, when you feel her arms demanding more and more and more, and I would never understand it either. Reflections of the mundane time were able to infiltrate in their new world built from just a few moments ago, but their pleasure was such that much more than that would be sufficient to break the spell. Still resonates in my memory, the echo of these words: “I will never forget this moment, I hope you won’t either.” (This now means the world to me.) A-C-D - 12-4-93

Certainty, not

February 18 at 5:06pm En cuanto a mi, yo fallo una y otra vez en mi corrección. A veces estoy tan "ON" a veces me encuentro "WAY OFF"...... Puedo decir en general, que mi “journey” es muy bueno e interesante..... pero a veces claudico y me abandona la certeza...El miedo me envuelve...no tanto por mi, sino por mis seres queridos....Y me cuestiono los principios de los que tanto hablo, y pontifico....Y veo lo bajo que caigo...... Pero gracias a Dios, siempre encuentro una soga, una rama o algo de que treparme y entonces la lucecita brilla tímidamente en algún lugar desde donde los pocos reflejos llegan hasta mi retina... y sonrió desde lo mas bajo de mi ser.....Entonces se que todo va a estar bien......!!! Saludos... ACD 12.23.14

Chilili

Ten years ago I wrote for you: She is the rainbow, and the smell of rain She is the color of a sunny day She brings the sunlight to the cloudy souls She is goodness of days in nature She is deepness in this, our universe, She is the essence of perfection She is oneness in the many, she is her own self She marches at her own rhythm She is the origin and the end And I love her so….. 10.12.2005 Nataluchi…….. I love you so much that there are no words in my head to describe how deeply and strongly my love for you is every second of the day. There is only an indescribable sense of happiness percolating through my being just thinking of you. You are such a special human being, up to now, reserved only for those lucky enough to get to know you. May the thin veil that surrounds you explode into billion pieces so that your true essence could radiate to the whole world, bringing that special true love and caring that only a few privileged ones have enjoyed till now. May this be the year when you open the way to all the interpersonal possibilities and your future as a successful professional, and as a Woman, as a partner in a loving, caring and respectful relationship with your soul mate. May you open the vessel for all these desires to occur this coming year. May you visualize it in your mind, and may it become your reality my love……………………………………………………………………………………………….. May God always protect you and give you health, peace and love…. May your days be lined with goodness and kindness towards you, which you deserve for the perpetual goodness and kindness that you are….. May you be happy always, and love reign in your life….. For ever yours Mom and Dad

Feels the same

Everything feels the same, a bit slow, a bit detached, a bit convoluted. One moment you are pushing forwards and feel the wind behind you, pushing you onwards, and sometimes it just feels like your feet are so totally glued onto the floor, and your lead legs are more like old abandoned tree stumps in a clearing. The bittersweet San Pellegrino Aranciata stimulates both positively and negatively, different areas of his mouth not knowing whether he likes it or vice versa. His glasses which riding on the top of his head threaten to fall down as he takes the last sips onto the bottom of the soda can. He manages to balance them back onto that transitory position then finally presses them onto his head and ears. The absurd comedy of the office’s Friday afternoon routines begins to take place amidst screams of the loose leave receptionist as she welcomes in the cleaning lady, or some friends of the staff with loud conversations that overcome the monotonous nonsensical murmur of the professional staff. A week has passed and nothing new has been accomplished, ACD 9.23.16

Rara Rareza

Rara rareza. Como poner el brazo dentro de una bolsa de emociones, y no sabes cual va a salir……!!! Rara rareza, de (last week) saberte cerca, pero bien lejos…..!!! Rara rareza, de (ahora) saberte lejos, pero bien cerca…..!!! Rara rareza de saber que las nubes pasan pero no cubren la luz del sol….!!! Rara rareza de saber cuan raro me senti…!!!! Un beso!! ACD 10.26.17

“Gabuchipu"

How much fun can a man expect from life? From time to time I seem to know the answer, just to know that at every new moment I spend with my “Gabuchipu” it will actually move so much further and further away from being a basic dull moment…. How proud can a man be? From time to time I seem to know the answer, just to know a little later on that I was in fact wrong, and that the pride I just felt about my “Gabuchipu” was only to be surpassed by her next accomplishment, the next thought, the next plan, the next…. How much love can a man feel? From time to time I seem to know the answer, just to know a little later on that I was in fact wrong, and that the love I felt about my “Gabuchipu” has increased exponentially with every moment, every smile from those big beautiful eyes, every moment I think of her, every time.. How much admiration can a man hold? From time to time I seem to know the answer, just to know that every new fact I learn from my “Gabuchipu” makes me admire her more than ever before. How much desire can a man have in his heart? From time to time I seem to know the answer, just to know a little later on that I was in fact wrong, and that there is no limit to how much good I wish for, I hope for, I pray for my “Gabuchipu” every day of my life….. ACD 11.17.17

KATRIU

KATRIU: It could have been a D.J. from Iceland, It could have been a famous Eastern European researcher, some sort of a protein, a patented invention, or just some hidden place between the Danube and the Black Sea, someone’s life story in Holland, or a found ancient manuscript in Britain, but it was NOT. The KATRIU, as we know it is seemingly an earthly SHE, a woman, a wife, a mother a therapist, a friend, a counselor, a person everyone calls in to get their troubles resolved, another train passenger druggies sing Free as a Bird and Zeppelin songs to, an aunt, a daughter, a tea drinker, a chicken tetrazzini hater, a Costco shopper, a shotgun seat driver, and other apparent things…and other not so apparent as a her being “a secret Pop-Rock Singer”…….. But to the rapidly growing population of lucky privileged ones such as me and every other soul touched by this majestic being, She is a totally different and magnanimous entity. She is an ANGEL, a God-Sent ANGEL. She lives and breathes love. She shares it. She is a sharing machine. From 5:30AM until she finishes putting her PJs at night, she is a non-stop giver, a total right –column Kabbalistic soul. KATRIU feeds on the love she gives. She asks for none. She gets it back though, just because that much love given cannot get some retribution. She is a giant little person. She is looks fragile, but she is WONDER –WOMAN, with an IRON-WOMAN custom on top. Contrary to anything else, the more layers you peel off her, the more amazing love you get from her. So many times I wonder what kind of a life would I have had, had I not ever met this woman, and the most I could have aspire to would have been a normal life. But once you have seen, touch and really witness heaven-on-earth in a beautiful, sweet-compassionate-fun-warm-sexy human being, you can do nothing but feel almost sorry for the rest of the world out there and you start thanking every single lucky star above you for being that lucky. Another year is going by, and today, like every day of my life, I feel so lucky, so proud, and so full of gratitude for having the chance of sharing my life with my KATRIU and in her birthday, I can just use the words Thanks, and Love you. My wishes, remain as strong and vibrant as the first day I realized I fell in love with her. So this is just the only although small way I can Wish for her a Happiest Birthday, and proclaim my gratitude and love to her. And as I see the things we did this year such as : ACD 3.17.18

Sometimes these eyes see you

Sometimes these eyes see you (From the object to the subject) Not the brain that thinks It’s your mind that sinks It’s your soul that screams And your heart that dreams It’s the brain that races. It’s your mouth that dries It’s the palms that sweat, Not the eyes that cry It’s your smile that lies Hidden well inside It’s not the soul that dies But your thoughts that fly It’s the thought that cripples, And your veins contain And your thoughts in ripples Makes the blood pulsate It’s your peace that’s frail And your life that longs And your senses fail, when your spirit’s gone. It’s your sweat that wraps And your skin protects While your face gets slapped And your ego hurts, And as your life decodes You try to explain Why your head explodes And you feel the pain ACD 3-22-09

How many times have you found yourself in the middle of a story

How many times have you found yourself in the middle of a story, which sounds rather like a monologue, a story which is so familiar to you, so personal perhaps, but here you are hearing it once again, going through every known passage once more, and expecting, almost you could say, “predicting” what is to come once more?! Yes, indeed, how many times you would want to stop the narrator from continuing the tale, while at the same time you cannot wait for the next word to drop, very much like you wait for the next note of a famous song, or melody that you know and love so much!? How many times you feel the inextricable need to feel once again the experiences narrated in that story that flows through your mind?! How much fuel do we seem to get from it!? But then, one day, at one point, on some occasion, you begin to realize that the only reason this is so familiar to you is because it is in fact you who is telling the story. You understand that there was never another narrator, that this “has been and is your story”. You realize that from time to time you have the primordial need to bring it out of the old storage cabinet in the back of your mind, to expose once again the aspects of this story, now a monologue, that resurfaces to the light of our now, to tell another person, the value of our experience, and perhaps this is where we find our own true value. But the story although is always the same, it always picks up some new nuance or detail to color, or to better fit the current reality of the moment. We stress different aspects, or we sustain, or perhaps exaggerate some aspects of this version of the story, just like a director sometimes enhances the string, or the wind sessions of an orchestra at different points according to what his current need or interpretation dictates. Yes, the story is not always the same we can conclude, because as we add or subtract from it, some of these new elements become permanent elements of the story like new starting players in the team, that go on to be veterans, some get their jerseys retired, and some are lost in the oblivion of that old storage cabinet in the back of the mind with the hope of someday coming back to that story as it is told yet one more time. ACD 03.02.20