Tuesday, August 18, 2020

ZILCHO-NADA

Here I am again, and I have nothing to say, nothing, zilch. I do not want to talk about all I have to do, my fatigue, my obligations. May the weight of my debts be lost in the midst of my dream-lit path. A smile comes to my mouth, like that of a naughty child who’s just eaten an ice cream cone (chocolate of course ... just to spoil his least preferred dinner!). It's time to start to wander: "Gods of my laziness, I evoke you to come and get me." "Welcome to the kingdom of my mental leisure !!!" "May God have mercy on those thoughts who still dare to create a productive thinking roam in my brain!" I'm willing just to rest my soul and get away from everything, to seek mental perfection zero, nothing, blank, empty, absent, did not come, missed,, had to accompany her grandmother to the doctor ... etc ... ... ZERO! The ZERO is perfect, and therefore beauty, purity. I am, at least at present, a zero (on the left, or right, but that ??!!.... to the right of zero is always zero!) The space does not exist in unioverso of ZERO ... nor the time of UNO. CEROes bravest number. UNO is less lonely, and though one sometimes feels something, often not just a poquilito greater than zero. It is almost impossible, I realize now come to stand for a considerable time at that level of perfection, which is zero because there is always some one that refuses to be subjugar. Many will wonder "where is and where it comes from this to this, but I begin by saying that" here I am and I have nothing to say "... I get lost in the infinity of the insignificant, I stop and am able to capture the small realities that die without being perceived because of their quality of ZERO. For example, some herbs that grow in the expansion joints of a cordon on a bustling Maspeth, or posts that place to support a new tree that can grow properly (correct !!??.. . say erect), nice and straight because of these clubs guides. Finally, when everything goes, he shall be a single tree, but ironically, even this die cut through the mountains of the time, or (HOMR-god). And those who remember the poor where the ants walking poles, where dogs urinate, marking his territory? On Saturday night it rained, and who remembers?! It is ZERO ... The Clouds gathered out of nowhere a few minutes, lightning and thunder, two elements of the same entity, estrepitante announced the arrival of a different time, the time of new and violent storm of the Revolution that air to change the status quo of the wet day, hot and sticky. I ran into my environment independently controlled, no music, just luggage. It was a light over the city. It was a splendid ZERO, a being almost nonexistent in the world of UNO. Heaven hasten the arrival of the night. The air had that inexplicably beautiful smell before rain. The stage was set for the show from the rain, and the storm turned into night, or in what appeared to be a series of light and dark, in a discreet rate proportional to the speed of my bubble. Thank Gods for letting laziness sweet savor the pleasure of these moments of existential emptiness. Thanks for power generator disconnected from my creditors moral!! It was beautiful to be able to feel only a pair of eyes in the night that attenuates the rain to the trace of memory. The rain, transformed into the universe had changed CERO UNO immediately. So the heat was momentarily different. The silence was different, was not mute, but mumbles shyly. The last hours of the night were mixed in a dream, dawn and new life, another day. From nothing (ZERO), came ONE, A new day. In the past, only I Recuero, (for now, until it also becomes ZERO) representing me. Who needs conclusions?? Probably one (not !!!!) ZERO (8-14-90) Zero seems to be what it contains all the essence of everything, where all become infinite, although identifying the mathematics of infinite value to us, the finite, the ZERO is the closest thing to temporarily possess infinite. Zero, we get the feeling of being part of the very essence of being, for white, or in absence, we can see the immensity of belonging to the infinitesimally small, insignificant. "All" comes from "nothing", for example us, morning and pass, etc .... Until the end comes out of nowhere, and goes to nowhere ... ..!!! Everything else is imagination ... .. The ONE constant weapon, fighting passionately at all levels to transcend conscious and subconscious (but beyond that ?.... envelope and that ??!!!). ???!!.... Let's try to analyze the need to invent or create the word transcend ... Of those who transcend through history, I think only those who did not try, they did indeed, but one deals with all forces. One death struggle through life and tries desperately to rid this horrible NOTHING that we soaked in our "SOUL". A NADA which come by chance, by chance, or goodness or necessity "and almighty God," or simply because the rule is that ZERO, ONE must descend and ascend again to zero or one, or something else , .... or not! NOTHING that haunts us in our time of UNO. NOT ONE can relate. We fear because we can not identify this ZERO ... (not while we can not be pure in that condition more than a few seconds consciously !!!!) a boy and we are concerned to know when we will no longer exist, to be oneself. We come to haunt the uncertainty of our existence, so we are intrigued to know where we came from, who was my grandfather? His father .... His grandfather ... etc!? It seemed to me? That Vivian life? I like this fall into? I have an obligation to know? Because I do not remember anything else? Who would remember me? They will know who I am? Who went? I wanted? That feeling? He feared that he loved ???...?? Who was this ONE and because now it's just a scratch ... ACD 6-15-90

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