Another month

Another month is passing by, and I am on the unstoppable path to the end. Another eighteen minutes are left of my working day of the last day of July of 1990. I have very vague memories of this month; some good, some bad, but what is worst, it was just another month. I feel desperate, because I feel I am another month older in the unstoppable path to the end. Somehow, “this now (ONLY)” fifteen minutes left are a reality check for me. I look at myself and I feel conscious of my being. I am tired. I am nervous, a little sick perhaps, but I am this reality now. Time continues in its unstoppable path to the end, and the rest of you and I are going along with it. I wonder what happens to the time when it has passed?...Where does it go??... I see out rime going into our aging process, our grey hair, our wrinkles, but where does time passed, (spent , used, misused, abused) go?!!? And what about the time that just is?? Does it continue being??...Is there a warehouse, deposit-like place where someone or something piles up the hours minutes, days, etc…in there indefinitely??!!!...I wonder…. Time keeps passing by in its unstoppable path to the end. Which end? What end? End of what?? What is what?? It is unreal how we need to put (time) (X&Y) into a frame that starts and ends, to be able to measure it, since we ARE mortals, in this consciousness at least, with a beginning or origin, and a sure end, a worrisome end, and end, dark and frightful. The next four minutes are the fastest yet. I am running out of time. I race against myself to be able to make some sense of this…. this time matter, but like when raising with ourselves, It doesn’t matter who is the winner or the loser. It is only ONE, who starts and ends….this time…!!!!.....each time!!!????! ACD 7-31-90